Thursday, July 22, 2010

Butterflies All Around Me

As I was walking on the Mon River Trail, I noticed how at some points, I was surrounded by butterflies. It made me think of Mama Weeze(Louise). She loved butterflies. I thought about how much I wish she were still here with us. Her passing came so unexpectedly this past February. She was like a second Mama to me. While I'm sure a lot of people would find this a little strange given the circumstances surrounding the break-up between me and her son, she and I were so blessed to be able to keep our relationship. Jesus tells us we need to forgive each other in order to be forgiven. I was able to forgive her for the simple fact that she was only looking out for her son as any mother would've done in that particular situation. Besides, her son had a mind of his own, but he made his decision and the rest is history. She was such a blessing to me and Johnathan. I sometimes go to pick up the phone to call her to share the latest news, and when I have to stop myself, I cry. I know she is looking down on me from Heaven cheering me on as I get closer to reaching my goal to walk in the 3-Day. I know if she were here, she would tell me, "you can do it!" She was one of my biggest supporters through Nursing school and when I went through breast cancer last year. She was a uterine cancer survivor and her example of a strong faith in God helped me in my situation. It's still emotional to go to church and to breakfast when I'm up visiting in PA. She once told me, "sometimes a person leaves footprints on our hearts that we just can't erase". I can honestly say, Louise left footprints on my heart that I could never erase. Miss ya Mama Weez!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

It May Be Dreary Outside........

Today, I'm finally able to relax. While I need to be out hitting the trails HARD because of all of the ice cream, pizza, and funnel cake I consumed in Knoebels last week, I am having a hard time dragging my bumm outside!! Last week was amazing. It may have been hot, but I had an awesome time!!! Lots of fun and lots of laughs were shared among amazing people. God has truly blessed me with such great friends.

I made a comment the other day about how I'm "back to reality". I thought about how we have a tendency to say that when we come home from a vacation or other good time. It sounds so negative sometimes. Like "reality" is a bad thing. Can't we have amazing days without being on vacation or out having a good time? I find I can have an amazing day even if I'm just out hitting the trails enjoying the beauty of God's creation. I can be at home relaxing and it can be an amazing day. And YES, I can even have an amazing day at work if I choose the right attitude!

Of course we are going to have days where things go wrong. Take for instance my car getting stuck in the ditch. I was frustrated at first, but then I thought about it and said to Johnathan and Sha, "It's not cancer! We'll get my car out of this ditch somehow!" I chose my attitude, and in the end, we got my car out of the ditch!

I've decided to chose the right attitude in the situations I encounter. I am going to stay positive and avoid the negative when I can. I am happy, and I'm not going to be co-dependent and feel guilty for being happy about the things in my life when others are miserable. Everyone deserves to be happy, and we need not feel guilty about being happy. I am going to keep believing that the dreams God has placed in my heart which I tucked away at one time will come to pass in His perfect timing. I'd rather wait 10 years for God's best and only have 10 years enjoying it, than spend 20 years on something that was not God's best for me.

So while it may be dreary outside.......I'm beaming on the inside :)